Camrath

Stolen from Wardy

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 20:31:21 GMT

*Are you a furry?
No, not an iota. Fucktard. ;p

*If you have a Spouse/SO - Is he/she a furry too?
Nope and nope.

*How long have you been in the community?
A little over a decade.

*How did you find furry?
The TLK Mailing list primarily.

*What's your reason for furry (what interested you to get into the community)?
A lifelong adoration of anthropomorphic characters (seriously, I can't actually remember a time I didn't find them appealing or fascinating)

*What's furry to you?
A social scene, primarily. Also a source of amusement, drama and amusing drama.

*If someone found out you're a furry and asked you about it how would you respond?
"We're to nerds as nerds are to normal people."

*What are your favorite aspects of our community?
I.. don't honestly know anymore. Slightly depressing, that. Probably the openmindedness of everyone involved.

*Do you use any furry terms? (i.e. yiff, paws, etc?)
Only ironically, for the most part.

*What do you wish furry was NOT associated with?
Perverts, super-shut-ins, zoophiles, paedophiles, the appalling fug of sweaty nerds crammed into a room together.

*How strongly do you feel about someone bashing the community as a whole?
It depends on what they're bashing and how. There's a lot to take issue with, but the concept of the community itself is sound.

*How strongly do you feel about anyone bashing you yourself for your interest based on the media's aspect of what furry is?
Water off a duck's back these days. I'll probably either try and correct them or just ignore it.

*We all know furries have a lot of sexual aspects in the fandom, What's your opinion on it?
I feel somewhat unique in having been in the fandom for more than a decade and never really being involved in that aspect of things. Sure, I've had girlfriends who were furry, but the reason we got together was because we met through the context of the fandom rather than OMG FURRIES RULE!!1!

-Personal-

*What is/are your fursona(s)?
Anthropomorphic barbary lion.

*Do you have any fetishes that pertain to the fandom?
Not particularly other than the fact that there are SO many fetishes contained in the greater context of the fandom that anything that is a turn-on for me would be included by default.

*If you could magically morph into your fursona would you?
Maybe. If I could change back.

*Do you believe you have a spirit animal?
No

*What other fanbases/groups are you a part of?
Jesus.. The 95th Foot And Mouth/the LT LARP system in general; MU* gaming groups in general.. fuck it. Too many to really list.

*Anthro/Feral, Therian or Kemonomimi (Not a furry, just a human with animal ears and a tail)?
Anthro.

*Are you a fursuiter? If yes, how many do you own? If No, do you ever plan on being a suiter?
No- I have in the past strongly considered getting a suit made, but I actually prefer bodypainting to fursuiting when it comes to costume. A. It used to be very much the Londonfur 'thing' back in the day, B. it doesn't have quite the same repulsive connotations attached to it and C. I have both very heat/sweat sensitive skin and a loathing of wearing things that cover my face. So fursuiting is really right out for me.

*How many of your friends are furry?
Probably about half?

*How many pets do you own, if any?
None, at the moment.

*Aside from furry what other interests do you have?
Roleplaying (Tabletop, MU* and LARP), shooting, BMWs, fencing, punk and metal music, god only knows what else.

*Are you confident enough in yourself to say that you're a fur, no matter what the media says?
Oddly enough considering my normal extreme lack of self-confidence, yes I am.

-Meetups-

*Do you attend any cons? If no, would you attend any cons? If yes, which cons have you been to?
I've been to Anthrocon, MFF and RBW before. Planning on RBW this year, but I no longer have any desire to travel internationally to go to cons. Hell, I only went to MFF because I really wanted to meet a girl from GarouMUSH there.

*Do you go to local meetups(bowling, public outings...etc)?
I've been a regular attendee at Londonfur meets for the past decade.

*Have you ever attended a furry party? If no, would you attend one?
I've been to parties thrown by people who are furs with furs attendig, because the hosts were my friends. I've never been to a specific furry party for furries.

-Online-

*Have you ever met up with a fur you talked to online?
Countless times.

*What furry websites do you attend?
UKfur forums; a few other ones. But nothing regular.

*What non furry websites do you frequent?
LJ, Facebook, Somethingawful.com, Zero Punctuation, TVTropes and a hell of a lot of others. I also harbour a secret wikipedia addiction.

*Has the fandom done anything for you that you're thankful for? Has it taught you anything or brought you anything you treasure greatly?
It's got me to meet more people than I would have been ever likely to otherwise, and has always given me a reasonably 'safe' fallout spot for when the world gets a bit too much in general for me to deal with.

The Gathering 'Hot and Not'

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 20:00:35 GMT

Because I'm evidently a hopeless trendwhore.

Hot:

1. A fantastic thursday night, where I got horribly, horribly drunk.

2. RPing with both the 95th and the Militia. Had a lot of fun.

3. Building on the above, I got dragged away from the Saturday night banquet to be informed that I'd been completely unexpectedly promoted to Captain (from Corporal) in the militia, and was in charge of the Night Watch. I was somewhat shaken by this (and I missed pudding, the bastards!), but ended up having an almost complete ball trying to control things in the market place during the chaos of Akari attacks and various muggers coming out to play.

4. The group of incompetents from the Harts who attempted to mug me on Friday while I was doing patrols, got caught and then dragged to their IC command. Ended up getting several hours of fantastic diplomatic/judicial RP out of it, and ended up getting pretty chummy with all of them OOC.

5. On a personal development point, my confidence and social acumen seem to have kicked up into the next level. The last time I can remember making so many new friends was actually the very first time I met House Soulsplitter. So. Many. Cool. People. Particular thanks go to Tine, Owen and Van for giving me so much support, especially when I freaked out some on saturday.

6. As usual, I lost quite some weight over the weekend.

7. People are recognising me! Both as a member of the 95th, but also as myself. The number of times I had people come up to me in the market place and go 'Oh, hey, you're Rupert Rupertson! I've been hearing about you..'.. Wow, it was staggering. A huge ego boost. (Doubly so having myself introduced to people as 'The best blade in the militia'. Yay, frothage).

Not:

1. The weather. On thursday and friday the wind was so heavy that it completely bent the shit out of our tent- we'll need to look at getting some replacements organised for the busted poles. :( It also pissed it down during the big battle on sunday, which meant I got a severe cheesegrater effect from my chainmail.

2. There was a small but unpleasant OOC incident on saturday night involving myself, down to extreme tiredness and need to bleed off stress on my part. But it was all resolved the next morning, and thank goodness didn't taint the rest of the weekend or (I hope) a friendship that I'm starting to recognise as very valuable to me.

3. I suffered a bit of a freakout on saturday before that, due to a huge amount of stuff happening shortly after I got unexpectedly dropped into the militia role. But after a short breakdown and a vent to one of the other guys I pulled myself together and started to have an amazing time.

4. My body is reminding me that quite simply, I'm not as young as I once was. The amount of aches and pains I suffered over the weekend was ludicrous. My weak ankle also went spectacularly a few times. Oh- and my skin is absolutely atrocious, due to the rubbing of the armour I was wearing. I've got horrible painful itchy crusty sores all over my back and legs. :( (Yes, that was way TMI ;p)

5. OOC stuff happened at the end of the weekend which really sucks for everyone, but at least the problem has now been dealt with. I only saw the knock-on effects of this though, wasn't directly involved.

Update + Five Words

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 22:59:56 GMT

Okay, I shouldn't really be sitting here doing a meme, as I'm off to Grenada in about six and a half hours.. but what the hell. Auriol tagged me with "Incommunicado", "Revenge", "Success", "Faith" and "Muse". So. Here we go.

Incommunicado: The status of being unreachable, impossible to contact. To be honest, I tend to slip into this subconsciously- I don't know whether it's a case of sheer forgetfulness that keeps me from making contact with people a lot of the time, or if it's just that I'm a generally misanthropic git. Perhaps a touch of both. But I never really need to declare myself as being 'unreachable' or 'do not disturb', as it's pretty much my default state, intentional or not. Maybe it's something I should work on- guess it's pretty frustrating for folk to deal with. Makes me seem like I don't care due to lack of communication. Bleh.

Revenge: Revenge and I have a strange relationship. On many levels I believe in it, very strongly. But oddly, only in the abstract. The few times I've been /able/ to take revenge on someone for past wrongs, I've not been able to follow through. I believe there's a proverb (that I've likely misquoted) about 'making sure to dig two graves before you go on a quest for revenge'. Every time I've had someone in the position where I could repay them for past wrongs to me, I've just sat and stewed and then walked away, realising that it just wouldn't help anyone. And yet I fantasise about it so very often. Fantasy v reality, in a steel cage. Woo.

Success: Is something that perpetually eludes me. Or at least, by my own standards. In some ways I suppose I /have/ been successful, but only laid against where I've come from in the past few years. See, that's the thing- I hate having to qualify things with 'I've come so far', rather than being objectively successful. Also, now I come to think of it at all (as always happens when I look at one word for too long), success is a very silly sounding word. Suck-cess. Sounds like some sort of septic-tank draining company.

Faith: , hop and charity. But above all of these, hop. Sunday lunches were a terrible mess.. Faith is a complicated thing. In my years I've drifted through the CofE, various vague and undefined beliefs, a brief flirtation with paganism, a longer one with LaVey satanism and then back again to a sort of cheerfully resigned 'meh, there's something out there, but fuck religion. Anyone want a pint?'. I guess the way I see things is that 'faith' is good. The world needs more of it. It doesn't really matter who or what in. But the counterpoint to that is that religion is /bad/. Faith is something that should be hugely personal and individual; not part of a social structure.

Muse: Many years ago (but fewer than I'd like to admit to) I used to refer to myself as a 'muse'. The 'Muse of yiffyness' to be precise. By which I meant I had the talent of turning anything filthy and seemed to awake vast torrents of lusty excitement in large numbers of players on a few online games. To be honest, it was only ever a tongue-in-cheek comment, but as so often happens with me people instead took it seriously and, thrown in with a load of teenaged psychodrama it all boiled up and ended very badly for me. I realise now I've gone hugely off topic, so. Nowadays I guess I'm trying to find MY muse, to spur me into something new and creative. I thought I'd found it in playing my bass, but now I've barely touched it in months since the Donutsh have been so badly on hiatus. The question is, when will I hear the siren song of creativity in my mind's ear again?

First pictures from Route 66

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 19:45:03 GMT

Ladies and gents, please find below the selected highlights of the over 1800 pictures that I took on the Route 66 tour.

I won't even attempt a writeup, because words completely fail me as to how awesome it was.

http://s408.photobucket.com/albums/pp162/Camrath-kizuka/Route%2066/

Stolen from Fionacat

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:10:33 GMT

Been arrested? — No
Kissed someone you didn't like? - Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? — Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? — Yes
Held a snake? — Yes
Ran a red light? — Yes
Been suspended from school? — Ish. Got sent home to wash off the goth white-face I was wearing as a dare/charity stunt.
Experienced love at first sight? — yes
Totaled your car in an accident? — No
Been fired from a job? — Yes
Fired somebody? — Yes
Sung karaoke? — Yes
Pointed a gun at someone? — Yes
Did something you told yourself you wouldn't? — Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? — Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? — Yes
Kissed in the rain? — Yes
Had a close brush with death (your own)? — Yes
Saw someone die? — Yes
Played Spin-the-Bottle? — Yes
Smoked a cigar? — Yes
Sat on a rooftop? — Yes
Smuggled something into another country? — Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? — Yes
Broken a bone? — Yes
Skipped school? — Yes (Well, faked being sick to get off)
Eaten a bug? — Yes
Sleepwalked? — Yes
Walked on a moonlit beach? — Yes
Ridden a motorcycle? — Yes
Dumped someone? — Yes
Forgotten your anniversary? — No
Lied to avoid a ticket? — Yes
Ridden in a helicopter? — No
Shaved your head? — Yes
Blacked out from drinking? — Yes
Played a prank on someone? — Yes
Hit a home run? — No
Felt like killing someone? — Yes
Cross-dressed? — Yes
Been falling-down drunk? — Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? — Yes
Eaten snake? — Yes
Marched/Protested? — Yes (Countryside march '98 and a few other times)
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? — No
Puked on an amusement ride? — No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? — No
Knitted? — No
Been on TV? — No
Shot a gun? — Yes
Skinny-dipped? — Yes
Given someone stitches? — Yes
Eaten a whole habenero pepper? — Yes
Ridden a surfboard? — Yes
Drunk straight from a liquor bottle? — Yes
Had surgery? — Yes
Streaked? — Yes
Been taken by ambulance to a hospital? — Yes
Tripped on mushrooms? — Yes
Passed out when NOT drinking? — Yes
Peed on a bush? — Yes
Donated Blood? — No (Tried to, got turned down because I've had M/M sexual contact. Fuckers.)
Grabbed electric fence? — Yes (Once. To see what it felt like. It felt like hurting.)
Eaten alligator meat? - Yes
Eaten cheesecake? — Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? — Yes
Peed your pants in public? — No
Snuck into a movie without paying? - No
Written graffiti? — No
Still love someone you shouldn't? — Maybe.
Think about the future? — Yes
Been in handcuffs? — Yes
Believe in love? — Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? — Yes

Stolen from the Groo folk

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 20:49:41 GMT

Total comments: 1098

1	bhata	132
2	award	72
3	southern_belle2	70
4	huskyteer	68
5	simbani	49
6	fionacat	39
7	klepsydra	39
8	auriol	36
9	elitadraconia	29
10	scotiva	29
11	cronvek	29
12	briccy	25
13	afya	25
14	fateema	20
15	Anonymous	20
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17	rayvanna	17
18	rob_d	16
19	akira114	16
20	scruff	16
21	ittybittykitty	14
22	elfasi	12
23	kinomotosun	12
24	sapphirej	11
25	thumperrabbit	11
26	light_lion	11
27	spottedhyena	11
28	auryanne	10
29	caileanmacleod	10
30	mysti_dragon	9
31	kubesean	9
32	surria	9
33	mysticleopard	9
34	tonren	8
35	nagebenfro	8
36	weeble_man	8
37	kimpers	8
38	midwestcougar	8
39	diodiva	8
40	krenath	7
41	sphelx	7
42	quaxo	7
43	kateybaby	6
44	arakinuk	6
45	the_maenad	6
46	orona_red	5
47	utlah	5
48	blackpawz	5
49	kurisu	4
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63	jakeriddoch	3
64	lethalgyrl	2
65	kenket	2
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68	tktiger	2
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72	dsch	2
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92	squeekdamouse	1
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95	adamdaniell	1
96	brawyn	1

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Fri, 29 May 2009 18:48:02 GMT

You know, it's odd. Maybe I'm overly nostalgic, or maybe I'm just paranoid. Either way, I've been feeling a bit low since the GEF, and as usual when I have down-patches I start to think that I'm getting sick again. Or that I never actually got better and just hid it.

So I decided to go through some old chat logs and RP logs, from the '05 era. Wow. Interesting reading. /Painful/ reading.

It's good to be reminded of your own sanity, or what passes for it. When you look at things and remember how it felt when you were going through them, how important it all was and how much it hurt.. and it seems like a batshit insane stranger talking in them, I can only assume it to be a /good/ thing.

Tue, 26 May 2009 00:01:30 GMT

Back from the GEF.

Warning, long frothy rant of good spirits follows.

For a start, I'm feeling vastly refreshed and in a much, MUCH better frame of mind than I was before I left, or that I've been in for quite some time. This break away from work, the internet, Garoumush and reality itself was precisely what I needed to ground myself a bit and pull my mood back up.

The weekend was on a whole a blast. I've been feeling a bit out of it with regards LARP in recent times- like I've not been doing enough, and getting frustrated with various small things that (as they are wont to do with me) threatened to blow up into big things unless I took matters in hand.

This was VERY well dealt with- I ended up putting myself out on guild duties for a lot of the weekend, while coming back to RP with the guys regularly. I'd set this as one of my two big goals for the event- not just on a roleplay level but on the next level of my personal developement. It's been a long time since I've been able to force myself out of the familiar and get to know new people (joining Soulsplitter being the last) and, considering how I've come along in general in self-confidence and people-tolerance in the past year I wanted to really give it a shot. I managed to keep myself upbeat and eager the entire time and had a total fucking /blast/ of a time.

My other main goal for the event was to get to grips with my airbrush and makeup style. My first attempt was /not/ successful. But after some very helpful advice from Charley, I got a result that I was /seriously/ fucking pleased with. My one regret is that I forgot my camera and couldn't get a photo of it when it was on fresh. It DID have a tendency to melt during the day around the forehead and under heavy sweatage- and the more my stubble grew, the more it flaked. But still, quick and easy to retouch. I was also extremely impressed with the power-pack I bought for it- it lasted for four 30 minute make-up applications, plus numerous top-ups AND regularly reinflated our air-mattresses and provided a light source too.

Gah. I'm just a bit overeager about things at the moment.

So. Yeah. Did a lot of stuff with the militia, while desperately trying to raise funds for reforging a spear I purchased from the unit. Ended up putting on the best part of 18 hours of guild-duty over the course of the weekend between other events, and finished up as a corporal, together with a lot of the other 95th after we all managed to impress the guild as a unit. Got to enjoy the company of some really fun guys, got a /lot/ of roleplay in and really developed Rupert as a character.

The other events I spoke of. I played a /lot/ of Jugga this event- I didn't really do it at the GEF last year, but got a real taste for it in '07. Mixed up playing as blade and stick- and really got to refine my two-hander style a lot. We got through to the semi-finals, and next year there's no reason I see that we couldn't take the prize. Liz and I also turned out to be a fearsome double-act in the circle of treachery, and then in the final swept the ring until I got sacrificial lambed for third against a bear. Liz fought really well in both bouts- and proved as well the treachery she needed to win! ;)

I actually got quite a few comments about my polearm fighting style this weekend- both from Jugga players and from militia members who I sparred with. (Including in one case four of them, one after another, and beating them all) As I've barely used a polearm before and have no training, I was rather pleased that I've managed to at last develop a working style. Still having problems with sword-and-board fighters, but other pole-arm users, single blades and two-handed types are definately handleable. Should think about mounting a dagger or something as well as my sword though- for emergency use only in case of dagger-boy attack. ;p

As to the rest of my kit, I'm really torn about the chain-mail I wear as part of Rupert's kit. On the one hand, it looks fucking /awesome/ when I'm fully kitted. It's also actually slightly cooler than my leather armour in strong sun. And it's fucking heavy- which means after a weekend of running around wearing it my body's become the tightest it's /ever/ been. On the minus side though... it's fucking heavy. My shoulders, legs and feet are absolutley fucking /killing/ me- though the legs and feet is also down to all the unused-to running. It also does genuinely slow me down. And at night, it's cold as all fuck. I never thought switching to leather like I did for the big battle this afternoon could possibly feel as good as it did!

Anyway, I think that's about it. I've had a hot bath, cleared a mountain of email and really should head to bed. Thanks to all who made the weekend so great!

The Donutsh: Charach Tour 2009

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 17:07:11 GMT

Is officially 'Go'.

Booked my flights this afternoon. Route 66, here we come!

Health Update

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 12:29:58 GMT

Acute tonsillitis is the doc's verdict; also had a temp of about 104. Been given shedloads of pills (which hurt like FUCK to take) and the rest of the week off work to recover.

Furry dogsex drama.

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 23:59:43 GMT

Sometimes I wonder why the FUCK I hang out with this community. At least the pervert was turned in by other furs, so there's not that whole 'conspiracy of silence' shit going on.

http://www.outdoorslc.com/story.php?subaction=showfull&id=1234287779&archive=&start_from=&ucat=5&

The Lewis County Prosecutor's Office has charged a Cinebar resident accused of having sex with two malamute dogs under a relatively new aspect of the state's animal cruelty law.

The charges were filed Monday in Lewis County Superior Court in Chehalis. The 21-year-old unemployed man allegedly engaged in sex with the dogs in October.

He denies it.

No violence is alleged in this case.

Elected Prosecutor Michael Golden said the Legislature modified the animal cruelty statute about two years ago to include sexual contact with animals. The change followed a case in Enumclaw in which a man died of injuries when he had sex with a horse.

"Previously you had to show harm to the animal," Golden said on Monday afternoon.

Troy B. Whitson, 21, is charged with two counts of first-degree animal cruelty, a felony with a maximum penalty of five years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

A summons was issued Monday for Whitson to appear in court later this month.

The Lewis County case comes from claims made by a couple Whitson met at a "furry" convention in Bellingham, according to charging papers.

The gathering was for people who enjoy dressing up in animal costumes, and their admirers, according to charging papers.

The couple, identified in the charging papers without their full names or hometown, were interviewed by a Lewis County Sheriff's Office deputy in December.

The charging papers allege the following account: In October the woman spent the night with Whitson in Cinebar, but called her husband and asked him to come over because she was uncomfortable.

Both said they saw Whitson engaged in sex with the female malamute, "Ruby," and the younger male malamute, "Torque."

Sheriff's Deputy Alan Stull said Whitson was interviewed and admitted the male dog "mounted him after he removed his pants and underwear," charging documents allege.

Whitson, who lives on his parent's property in rural East Lewis County, was stunned on Monday night when he learned of the charges.

He called it a "marital sit," explaining he meant the young couple were in a dispute and the male half was angry because the female developed a relationship with Whitson.

"I've never even been to Bellingham," he said after looking at the charging documents.

He is involved in the "furry" world and did meet the pair that way, he said.

Whitson said the conventions are for people who appreciate the art of anthropomorphic animals, where some dress up in elaborate animal costumes. He's well known in the "furry" realm for his wolf persona, he said.

"She's crazy," Whitson said. "There's been nothing but drama since I met her."

The two malamutes are family pets who live at the Cinebar residence.

The case comes on the heels of an Oregon couple's sentencing last month for misdemeanor sexual abuse of an animal, in what the prosecutor thought was the first time anyone in Oregon had been fully prosecuted under its law.

Prosecutors said the pair sold videotapes of themselves with their German Shepherd mix to a company in Amsterdam, according to The Associated Press.

Their dog had to be euthanized, because, authorities said, it couldn't be placed in another home given the way it had learned to interact with humans, according to The Associated Press.

Golden said he had no intention of having Whitson's dogs destroyed.

This is the first time his office has charged anyone under the newly modified Washington law. He acknowledged his charges did not allege violence to the dogs, but said they don't need to.

Golden said the law is in place because "animals are in our care. This is not why they are in our care."

"Frankly," Golden said, "I think the Legislature should have just called it bestiality, because it causes confusion."

Anyone want a Gunther?

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 19:20:05 GMT

Having had my useless housemate string me along for a month with promises to buy him, only to pull out earlier today, I'm now stuck with a 1992 BMW 318i I don't need anymore and need to get rid of.

He's MOT'ed and Taxed up until May, has about 130k or so on the clock, six-cd changer in the boot. Paint and bodywork is sadly in pretty tatty shape, as is the upholstrey, but he's a great little runner still- or would be good to break down for parts, I guess.

I'm looking to try and get c.£300 for him- anyone interested or know someone who would be?

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:13:54 GMT

You know, I just had one of the reasons why I (or at least, Camrath) am the way I am. I got an email from my dad about visiting Paris for a party by some very close family friends. With this in it.

"It is Louise’s 18th birthday – remember the small child who used to crawl all over you and put her feet in uncomfortable places – sort of thing that one probably would not mind revisiting now."

Dirty old bastard. ;)

In other news, I'm pissed off. Peabody Trust have decided to send me a bill for £3,350 for repairs to the gas-piping they inadequately repaired and cut off, leaving my entire estate without heat, hot water or cooking capability for two months of the winter.

And some /cunt/ has knocked/torn off a chunk of the trim from Karl's driver-side front corner.

Grr.

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 04:31:33 GMT

I don't know what the fuck has been up with me for the past few days. I really don't.

I've been off sick with blinding headaches and just generally trying to catch up on sleep, and I appear to have been growing steadily more and more stressed, anxious, ill-tempered and irrational as the past few days have gone by. I've been feeling constantly paranoid, generally depressed and unmotivated and at the same time /very/ lonely.

I've been blowing up over things in ways I haven't done in years, and that's seriously starting to fucking worry me. Especially as there's no cause for it this time.

Every rose has its thorn, etc.

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 23:15:46 GMT

Well, the brutally sadistic nature of Murphy's Law has been biting me in the arse again, hard. Once reaching a pretty damned happy position in almost all areas of my life bar the romantic one, something just HAD to happen to mess things up.

My bloody skin has gone wrong again.

I had a major flare-up last autumn, but managed to get it under control with steroids and antibiotics- once again I learned the sheer joy of not itching all the time, not looking like a freak, being able to do strenuous activity without pain.. No more though.

This week it seems to have sprung from nothing. From a tiny itch between my shoulderblades at the weekend, my entire back flared up until it looks like I've been flayed- my back is seriously one huge mass of bloody scratches, swellings, spots, blisters and dry, dead skin. It's hit my neck- my shirt collars feel like some sort of bizarre torture implement. It's hit my arms again- the crook of both arms is totally raw, and as for the rest of them.. nearly every hair-follicle seems to hold a lovely little nodule of pus, and the itching is nearly unbearable. It's hit my face, so I have these huge and painful spots that neither grow to a proper head or fade.

In short, I'm a fucking wreck. I've been sleeping about 3 hours or so a night since the weekend because lying down /hurts/. And when it doesn't hurt I'm itching and then I scratch myself in my sleep and GAH. I woke up this morning with my sheets literally glued to my back from dried blood and plasma (or whatever the hell the clear sticky fluid is that oozes from raw areas).

And to make matters most bitterly ironic of all, I've been pushing myself hard in the gym and I've managed to totally lose all my xmas-flab, together with improving my muscles yet more. I'm desperate to show off to people, but I'm too embarrassed to even wear a t-shirt. Or even go out of the house except for work and shopping.

So far, so emo. However I'm not just sitting and ranting. I have an appointment with a dermatologist on monday afternoon, who hopefully may be able to help me out some. I get the feeling it's gonna be amoxycillin and fucibet again for me, which will at least treat the symptons.. but I honestly have no idea why the hell I keep getting these flareups. I mean fuck, this one started a few days after I cleaned the house from pretty much top to bottom, laundered every set of clothes I have and all the rest.

Ah well. At least I still have a nice house, good friends, a job that seems mostly secure and a fucking /awesome/ car to keep me happy. I just wish that my entire body would stop hurting so I could enjoy them all more.

I can haz new beemer nao.

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 20:44:11 GMT

Well, after an unexpectedly gigantic paycheck this month (due to a combination of G4S finally getting my payrate sorted and a pretty nice tax-rebate) I decided it was time that I moved up in the world of transport. Gunther, while I still love him very much, has been showing his age badly- and frankly his bodywork is a mess. So after a few days of searching, I've managed to find a new toy.

Karl. He's a 1997 BMW 323i with an upgraded engine (installed a few years back). Metallic red paintwork that's almost totally pristine, beige leather interior, 103k on the clock. Thus far he's proven himself to have about twice Gunther's fuel efficiency, together with a quite shocking amount of power under the hood- I'll have to be careful at first. The amount of torque in the higher gears in particular is near staggering.

Pictures will be taken and posted as soon as A. it stops raining and B. I remember to.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:38:20 GMT

Bloody well done, America.

(Incidentally, Obama's speech a few minutes ago was one of the best I've heard in the time I've been alive.)

Bitter irony.

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 00:04:57 GMT

Tomorrow night I'll be celebrating Hallowe'en at the Unholy Alliance tour, moshing my brains out to Amon Amarth, Slayer, Mastodon and Trivium. This is good. I full expect to be unable to hear anything for at least 24 hours after.

So WHY in the name of all that's holy, unholy and merely ambiguous have I gone and developed some sort of problem with my right ear? I woke up this morning after some slight pain last night, and my ear is totally blocked with /something/, hurting dully and I have tinnitus from Satan himself. I literally can't make out conversation without cocking the left side of my head towards the person I'm speaking to.

If it wouldn't be self-defeating and pointless I'd beat the living shit out of my body for doing this to me.

Interview Meme, swiped from Charley

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 20:49:16 GMT

Leave me a comment saying "interview me."
I will ask you five questions.
Post the answers on your LJ and then interview your friends!

I was interviewed by Auriol

1) If you could have a theme song, what would it be?

If you mean original music, probably 'The Only Fool' by the Dontush. For other people's music, the current music that's my theme is.. well, more a theme album actually. 'With Odin On Our Side' by Amon Amarth- lots of songs about angry blond men slaughtering their enemies, burning their villages and stealing their women. It's Viking Death Metal and you and Andy would probably like it in fact. It speaks to my state of mind these days.

2) All kids hate their given name. When you were a kid, what did you wish your parents had christened you?

For a while I actually wanted to go by my second name of 'Peter'. And well, I've answered to 'Camrath' as much as 'Henry' for nigh on a decade now- I was a kid when I /started/!

3) If the fairy godmother knocked on your door right now, and said you could have three wishes, but you only had 30 seconds to tell her what they were, what would you say?

Would it be horribly cliche of me to admit that my first wish would be for true love, my second would be for the ability to shapeshift into /anything/ I wanted and the third would be for.. I dunno. My own personal pet flying cybertyrannosaurus with laser-beam eyes.

4) If you could stop the world for 1 week, and had £5000 that would turn to dust at the end of that week, where would you go and what would you do?

America. Hire car. Route 66. Job's a good'un.

5) What do you most want to achieve by your 30th birthday?

Again this is going to sound really soppy and out of character for me, but more than anything else I want to have learned what it feels like to be in love again, and to still /be/ in love. Maybe married, maybe not. But just to feel the sheer level of understanding, trust, caring and affection that I used to share with Clare once again.

Addendum.

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 21:34:32 GMT

Why the FUCK can't people leave well alone and not stick their bloody oars in when I'm already fucked off with the world. I mean really. Congratulations, you got me /more/ angry and damaged how I feel about /another/ friendship. Good fucking thinking. What exactly was the plan there? What REALLY was going to be acheived?

God, it feels /awesome/ to be ganged up on again. Just like old times. It's almost nostalgic, except not.

Business with friends

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 21:20:40 GMT

I fucking hate it. I'm never, ever going into any sort of payment situation with friends again. It only ever seems to lead to hurt and angst.

Well, that's my mood down the shitter. Just what I could use on a sunday night.

General update.

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 15:09:36 GMT

So, what's been going on in my life recently?

Well I've turned 27 a few weeks ago and suddenly realised that, holyshit, me turning 30 is closer to me in time than say, when I got together with Clare/when I went up to university/when I actually LEFT university. This is both scary and awesome.

I'm still single, and really getting rather bored of it. Unfortunately given the circles that I move in, I really don't have much chance to meet new girls and all that stuff. But meh. We'll have to see what the future holds.

My actual birthday was celebrated with immense excesses of intoxicants (like my 25th, we used what the Daily Mail would refer to as a 'cocktail' of substances) and the company of the Donutsh and my best mate from my schooldays, Will and his lovely girlfriend Helen. As Al Stewart (one of my new musical obsessions- he's like a trippier Don McClean) blasted on the stereo and I relaxed and ruminated amongst great company, the aforementioned cocktail sent me into some of the deepest, most positive introspection I've ever had. I have problems in my life and inside my head, but I realised that there are ways I could work through them and set to it with a vengeance. Since then, I've been feeling more mentally tough and centred than I have at any point before; it seems to have done the job of several months worth of expensive therapy. In short.. who says drugs are always bad for you? ;)

After my birthay I took some time off work for two weeks to both catch up on rest and fly out to see my little brother in New York. And my god, what a holiday. Suffice to say, it's the first time as an adult I've been to the states and not gotten laid.. and yet getting some booty would still not have made the trip even more awesome than it already was. I got to meet lots of really cool people, including some very old friends I'd not seen for years; hung out with Poe from Garoumush; ended up at a bizarre Slavic pagan ceremony on the banks of the east river with a 70 year old immigration lawyer, a New York Times bestselling novelist, a one legged vietnam vet and a few others; had the best sunday /ever/ (got picked up at 8am in a minivan crewed by two amazingly cool guys and drove 100 miles to the site while smoking the best weed I've had in my life and blasting old-school american metal at painful volume. Then spent a few hours using an M60 to butcher americans. One guy asked me 'Damn, what regiment did you serve with?' after I managed to bully a few folk into working with proper fire+manouver tactics using me as a base of fire. Frankly that's one of the best compliments I've ever received.) Oh, and we saw movies and shows and hit the gym a lot and I've discovered a love for turkish baths and god my little bro is so awesome and I wanna go back there NOW!

Ahem.

I've also changed up my workout pattern and bought a load of new clothes- I'm feeling really rather good looking for the first time in ages. In short, pretty much everything is on the 'up' right now. I had the literal day from hell at work yesterday, but somehow was still in a great mood at the end of it- I've discovered mental fortitude I didn't know I had.

So life is good, yes. Just need a girl. Grrr. ;)

The Donutsh are 'go'.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 00:26:28 GMT

Well, for the first time we're stepping out from behind the shelter of being sealed away in my living room when we play.

During tonight's practice session we ended up jamming for quite a while with our current work-in-progress song 'The Only Fool'. Frankly, we all thought it the best of our output so far- and we're really starting to mesh as a band.

And so, as I had my shiny new laptop with inbuilt camera lying around the living room, we decided 'why the fuck not' and recorded a video of one of our jams.

This is basically the instrumental version of the song with some heavy improv by all of us- Sandra in particular. We had that amazing feeling of being inside each other's heads- each modulation of volume or tone was totally unplanned, yet we all felt it seemed 'right' at the time.

Anyway! Enough verbal diarrhoea! Here I present to you, the very first recording in existence of the Donutsh.

General update.

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:07:16 GMT

So, been quiet here. Time for a breifish update on various parts of my life.

I'm single again- Dani and I split a few weeks back due to the harsh reality of there being little chance of meeting again this year. I'm just too old to go through that length of waiting; somehow it's a lot harder at 26 than it was at 18. Or even at 20 for that matter. Anyway, it was a perfectly amicable split, though now she seems to be being a bit distant to me. Hoping things can go back to how they were before.

Work: Sucks. As always. Too many hours, not enough money, the usual. But at least I get some modicum of respect now; people know my face, know I get shit done, I'm still getting 'noticed' by management a lot and all that shit. It beats the alternative, but I /really/ fucking hate 12 hour days.

Holidays: I'm going to be in New York for a week from september 17th to see my awesome movie-making little brother! Anyone in the area fancying a meetup, let me know!

LARP: Well, the G was last weekend. And what a fucking corker of an event it was. Generally great weather, the new unit really seems to be meshing together well and making a huge name for itself and Rupert is really finding his voice as a proper character, rather than as 'Camrath MkII'.

Perhaps somewhat soppily, this also felt like something of a watershed event; for a start I felt like I was actually giving something back to the unit with the makes and shit I did. Also, I felt a /lot/ more accepted/welcome than I have done previously. Call it my own crippling insecurities, but a lot of the time at past events I've spent /freaking the fuck out/ over whether or not I'm accepted or just tolerated on the offchance I'll do something amusing. I won't name names, but the fact that people actually spent time OOCly chatting to me at random, and actually came up to me and started conversations and shit.. especially folk I've had a hard time talking to before, well it left me feeling just a million dollars. I'm not sure whether it's because I've changed, or if time has just gone by and people are used to me now.. but it really made a good event into the best one I've been to so far.

Also, spending four hours sitting in a tent breaking people and taking regular OOC breaks for corpsing up with laughter makes me feel happy and full of win. Amazing that the best RP I've ever had could involve being shockingly disgusting and flirting with whores. Awesome.

Upcoming delights!

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 18:58:21 GMT

I've realised that one of the reasons I've been in a bit of a funk this summer is a seeming lack of things to look forwards to. Thus, I have remedied this.

1. Fucking Gathering in two days time! Violence and drinking!

2. I'm visiting NYC in mid september (anyone who wants to meet up there, btw- let me know!). Gonna see my brother, see some folk from Garoumush and have an actual /holiday/!

3. Just two minutes ago I have officially signed on for the most fucking epic Halloween ever- Kristof and I have tickets to a gig at the Hammersmith Apollo for that night. Featuring Slayer, Trivium, Mastodon and AMON FUCKING AMARTH. If I'm able to walk and talk for a week after that, I'll be disappointed. ;)